Why I Stopped Taking Editing Clients, For Now (Maybe Forever)

From Flickr user TheCreativePenn CC Attribution license

I think it’s always been that people believe they’ll write a novel and get rich. My friend Jamie wrote at least one blog post about this, and we freelancers often bemoan our shared plight of wannabe writers chasing that gravy train.

My world seems to be shrinking around the edges with the slew of people who have produced a manuscript after a long, lucrative career as something else, or during a lucrative career, or who believe that all people who’ve written and published a work of fiction are as stinking rich as Stephen King (which is not true. There’s him and JK Rowling. The rest of us are teaching or waiting tables or both to pay the bills).

I recently had a facebook convo with a grumpy mid-list author (who wishes to remain anonymous) and, certainly out of jealousy of the economic freedom to while away the hours, obliviously typing convoluted absurdity after stilted dialogue after overly obscure or pop allusion and then to pay someone to read it, we groused about having to schlep through tomes (that sometimes read like 70s performance art) in order to fund our writing.

Why, Lord?

When I say what I do, I never say, “I’m an editor.” I just don’t. I say, “I’m a writer.” Sometimes, if people ask if I make enough money at that, I say, “well, I also freelance as an editor.” Because, love or hate it, editing pays.

But my soul lathers whenever I read a beautiful book. I can barely make my typing fingers rest until I can get to a keyboard or a notebook. The words are in me. They thrum to get out.

And editing sucks out all my creative energy.

And it’s frustrating.

And I’ve been working so hard at writing for so long.

And I feel like an imposter already. I can’t handle clients with less than half my experience being graceless with my feedback just because they have money and I do not. I don’t have any more space inside for shit.

I dislike the power balance when the uninitiated, naive writer (regardless of his or her life stage) is signing the check and I am assessing the work.

The expectation is that I am being paid, not only to read the work, comment on its effectiveness, find its typos, fix its grammar, style, and usage, all without letting the writer’s voice get gobbled up by mine, but to respond thoughtfully to  long, defensive emails or to listen to a client yak on the phone for an hour or two; and frankly, even after drawing clear phone boundaries, I just don’t have time.

What my clients paid me for was my expertise, my experience, my felicity with grammar and style.

What they got was a little piece of my soul.

I know that sounds insane and melodramatic, but I’m in graduate school for writing. Editing is one of the many things one can do with a graduate degree in creative writing, but I need to hone my focus. I need to be the guy with the manuscript for a while. I am the guy with the manuscript.

And I am smart and I have every right to have a manuscript.

This is my story. I’m tired of helping with yours.

I guess a gal can only muster so much cheer and helpfulness.

And maybe I’ll get back to it someday. Hell, even though I said I wouldn’t, I’m proofing a romance novel now. Just one toe in the door.

I’ll see ya’ll at AWP, or after. My next post will be all about that.

You Should Read This Stuff. Or Else.

from flickr user jronaldlee

This article sparked some amazing discourse over on Facebook.  Read it.  I’ll be writing a full post about it & that discourse later this week.

Stephen King Does Not Write Literature

This is a fun, quick read about misguidedness in grammar nazi-ism.

From the Chronicle of Higher Education

My friend Jamie’s Short Saturday post is enlightening on linguistic conventions “across the pond.”

Cuts Both Ways

And Penelope writes, insanely, about her family’s stint as reality TV subjects.  The comments are particularly interesting because they begin with some hapless, new reader scolding Penelope about grammar, and morph into all sorts of wooly silliness.

How to Choose a New Career

Here’s the article that I linked in the feminist post, but it’s really important to read for every woman who may potentially ever hope to have a job and children.

Why Women Still Can’t Have it All

And here’s a place for general reading that fills my religions-skeptical heart with glee.

Patheos.com

Self (Publishing) Help: What is a Book Doctor? Do I need one?

From Flickr User takomabibelot

If you’ve been reading here, or if you grabbed one of my free eBooks, you probably know that I am 100% pro editor.

But if you’re thinking about self-publishing, or wondering if you should pitch an agent, and have done even a small amount of web research, you’ve probably also seen the term “book doctor.”

Maybe you’re wondering what, precisely, is the difference?

Sometimes, people call themselves book doctors and they are really developmental editors (meaning they are equipped to help you develop the plot of your story, your characters, the big meaty bits: they will help you with the big revisions).  But be careful!  Because sometimes, these are folks who’ve self-pubbed, who haven’t used editors, and who don’t know their hand from their face.  Sorry.  I don’t like to be a crass hater, but it’s true.  You don’t really have to be qualified to hang a shingle on the internet.  You just have to be able to figure out WordPress or Blogger, and trust me, both are doable with any modicum of tech savvy.

Sometimes, book doctors are reasonably successful genre authors who can help you with the kinds of books they write.  In my experience, traditionally published genre authors are well-informed on the demands of their particular market.  They’ve read everybody like them and can probably tell you if you’ve got something sale-able on your hands.

But book doctors take the temperature of your manuscript or your ideas and asses their marketability, saleability, and they’ll be your book or proposal doula, too–they’ll be on hand to talk you through block, or help you slash darlings.  They can give you tips on leveraging social media, blogging, author plarform.  They can help you pick software for accounting.  Maybe some of them would even make you a sandwich.

Book doctors–good ones–are the first stop before trying to publish or self-publish.  Sometimes, before even developing a full draft.  But make sure that the book doctor you hire is legit, and has experience with what you want to do.  Ask for references or testimonials or both (if there aren’t any on their website, and even if there are).  Ask for a copy of their resume or CV.  Legit people won’t balk at the request or feed you a line about confidentiality agreements.  They will comply happily with they information they may provide while satisfying the demands of heir confidentiality agreements.

I’ve read a bit lately about the success (or lack thereof) of self-published novels, and across discussions, blog posts, infographics, the more money a self-published author spends pre-publication, the better the book does in terms of sales.  Here’s an interesting piece about Fifty Shades of Grey, and here’s something from Jamie Chavez, a happening (and experienced) independent editor.

Do You Need One?

But here’s a little quiz to check.  Answer Yes or No, and tally each answer.

1.  Do I have experience with writing book proposals?

2.  Do I have experience with writing books?

3.  Do I have experience with hiring editors?

4.  Do I have a complete manuscript that I have already pitched to several agents or editors?

5.  Have agents been interested?

6.  Do I have a bachelor’s or master’s degree in the  field of writing or in the field about which I hope to write?

7.  Have I networked with any editors or agents?

9.  Am I writing the book for work or to serve a specific, narrowly definable population to which I have access?

10.  Have I started building my author’s platform?

Assessing Results:

7-10 Yes – You are probably okay without a book doctor, but if pitching at least 30 agents and editors doesn’t yield any results, perhaps consider a consultation with a book doctor.

4-6 Yes – You would probably benefit from a book doctor.  You could probably muscle through  without, but your job would be easier with one.

0-3 Yes – By all means, get on the horn this instant.  Maybe even reconsider your authorial aspirations before you’ve done a little more work or research in that direction.  Check out a conference in your field or a writing workshop or both.

More Versatile Blogging –or– Great Blogs You Should Read + 7 Facts About Me

Gerry Wilson subscribed to my blog and then like two days later, she gave me this award.  I’m always honored when somebody starts getting an email every time I post.  I post five days a week, and typically my posts are like 1000-1500 words, so that’s kind of a commitment.  It’s also a signal to me to trudge forth.  So thank you, Gerry Wilson, for following and reading my blog, for giving me a reason to blog.  And also, thank you for this award.

What I’m supposed to do next is to list seven random things about myself.

Then I’m supposed to nominate seven other bloggers.

I will try to pick seven different bloggers than last time I received this award (Holy Birds!).

1.  I have two favorite colors, red and green.  It bums me out that these two colors signify my least favorite holiday of the year, because I would really like to wear them together more often.  I wear red glasses, earrings, and shoes as often as possible.  I like green sweaters in particular.

2.  I own a pair of Pajama Jeans.  They were a holiday gift, and they are the best thing I have ever received.  I wear them as often as they are clean.  They are especially nice when I’m crampy and on rainy days.  Today is both.

3.  My undergraduate claim to fame is embarrassing.  It was in Fiction Writing Workshop 3 or 4, so the serious writing people were mostly there.  We read a ZZ Packer story, I don’t remember which one, and I said something like, “At first I thought this was going to be just another one of those bleeding cunt stories…” It was when I was first learning the ways of the feminist Jedi that involve using strong language about sexuality and womanhood in order to take away those words’ power, to stop people from misappropriating words for our parts and processes for abusive purposes. Outside of the context of the Vagina Monologues rehearsals I was attending, the whole thing was a touch hyperbolic. My professor and mentor still, still, seven (or eight or nine?) years later, quotes me on that.  And he reminds me every time I see him that I said it.

4.  I did not know a thing about my ethnic heritage until I moved to New England at age 20 and people kept being unsatisfied when I answered “American” to the question, “What are you?”  I’m mostly German with a touch of Swiss, French, and Scottish.  But I was born in the US.

5.  I know this is irrational, but I am immediately mistrustful of any man who shares the first name of my daughter’s biological father.  This can be troublesome because it’s a fairly common first name.  I knew a spate of men with that first name when I was in college.  I was in love with half of them and abhorred the other half. I’ve never been lukewarm on a single one. No, I’m not going to tell you what the first name is.  I’m working through it.

6.  My very first email address was i.like.taffy@juno.com.  That was in like 1992?  Don’t try to email it, nothing will happen.  I tried logging in years later only to be denied access.  I don’t even know if juno.com still exists.

7.   I found 3 silver hairs at the top of my head since I got my hair cut very short.  I am thrilled.  The late grandmother I’m most like had beautiful, 100% white hair by the time she was fifty.  My hair is very dark brown, and I am looking forward to being able to put streaks of purple in my white, white hair as an old bird.

I offer the following with a caveat:  I know I should be reading more blogs.  But if you read the productivity post, you know I’m pretty strict with myself in terms of reading for leisure, especially right now as I prepare for grad school + do all my regular stuff.

Beth Bates is a writerly woman, a generous spirit, and a great twitter follow: @bethbates.

Marco North’s blog, “Impressions of an Expat” is moving, beautifully written, and actually, if you must know, makes me a touch jealous.  Also a great twitter follow: @marco_north

I promise this is my only duplicate from my last list, but my friend Jamie just got her 100th follower.  That’s an excuse to bestow upon her the label “versatile.”  But more than that, she’s smart on books and a wonderful person. On twitter, she’s @EditorJamieC

Cathy Day’s blog is great.  Her posting schedule is less insane than mine, but her posts are always thoughtful and interesting from the perspective of being a writer and a teacher of writing.  You can follow her on twitter @daycathy.

Laura Kurk is a YA Novelist, and she cares about grammar.  I haven’t read a ton of her blog yet, and she does not appear to post very often, but her posts are eclectic, and you can follow her on twitter @LauraKurk

Darellyn Saloom writes about her farm.  She’s also co-author of the memoir of a woman boxer.  Two huge points in my book: co-authorship & farm life.  Neither are easy, both require character and chops and inner resolve.  She’s followable as @ficwriter.

And the last I’ll offer is not a blog, rather a feature.  It’s On the Ether by Porter Anderson.  It’s a Thursday post at Jane Friedman’s blog, and let me tell you, these are intense.  Incredible, will leave you reeling, will definitely teach you and make you more aware: a better literary and world citizen.  But Anderson himself suggests proceeding with caution: do NOT try to read the whole thing in one sitting (I did, twice, and couldn’t do anything with my brain the rest of the day, no lie).  He’s on twitter, too, as @Porter_Anderson

The moral of my selections:  If you want to be a writer and part of the world of books, publishing, and thinking and writing about books, publishing, and words, YOU NEED TO JOIN TWITTER AND PAY ATTENTION.  

So, nominees,  Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to thank me for nominating you, write seven strange/unfamiliar/quirky/random things about yourself, choose seven other bloggers, and then let them know however you choose: facebook, twitter, commenting on their blogs, etc.   Also, please include the image above.  It’s there by a URL, so clicking it should take you to http://www.versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com.  Also, I will not be upset with you if you do not (or cannot) do this.

Bloggers I like to whom I will award this JPEG

Here we go.  Those of you on whom I bestow this award, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to pass this award along to 15 other bloggers, and share 7 things about yourself that your readers may (or may not) know.  You can read mine here.

A note about my awards: I am first awarding to people like me–or better than me, but not so much better than me that they won’t participate and re-award.  These account for about half.  I’m including Justine Musk in this category because I have a small suspicion that she would view this kind of thing as big fun, and participate to prove that she’s not too big time.  The rest will be blogs I think it is essential for you to read, but by people or organizations who are so awesome that my blog is not even on their radar, or if it is, they are really freaking busy doing all the stuff that their big-time public lives allow or require of them, so they will probably not be paying this award forward.

Also, like Smoky, I don’t think I have 15.

I hereby award this Versatile Blogger Award to (drum roll):

Neato!

1.  Marc Schuster: Marc’s blog is informative and writerly.  He tells good stories.  Go forth, friends, and read him.  And buy his books.

2. Becoming Cliche: This woman is really funny.  And her blog is inspiring because she does, indeed, post every single day, and she uses strikethrough to great effect.

3.  This is me not awarding to Solomonian, since she hasn’t posted since she got a job.  But before she became employed, her blog posts were one of the joyful parts of my day.

4. Jamie Clarke Chavez is my newest cyber-acquaintance, and it turns out, we are the same person separated by about 1,000 miles and an undisclosed number of years.  Seriously, why would you even ask?  Jamie is wonderful, so much so I’m excited to meet her in person, and will travel to do so.  So I’m hereby extending the scope of this blogging award to include exceptional social media cheerleading, friendship, and food love.

5. Ashley Jillian is funny.

6.  Justine Musk.  This is the kind of blog I can get lost in for hours.  Her writing is delicious and she is legitimately a generous soul topped with an excellent mind.

7. Penelope Trunk is inspiring and smart and obnoxious and she home schools her kids.  I love her.  I write about how much all the time.  Doubt me?  Go ahead, plug her into the search bar over there.  She’s easily the most-linked person here.

8.  Julianna Baggott is smart and incredibly prolific.  She’s like 40, and she’s written 17 books, some of poetry, most novels.  Her blog is lovely and she is so thoughtful & generous with her time and thoughts.

9.  Jane Friedman‘s blog provides amazing insight into the publishing industry, what thinking people are saying about authorship, social media, new media, etc. She collects voices.  My blog is not 100% off her radar, since she has published a couple of my posts on her blog, but she is really busy.  And really inspiring in her ability to get stuff done.

10. Copy Blogger is a great place to learn how to do any and all of the following & more: market yourself as a writer, build a platform, use SEO, use social media, find copywriting work, etc, etc.  Very helpful.  Not maybe for all of you, but there’s a lot of stuff there that can be applicable to anybody using social media for business–not necessarily all writing projects & work.

Insomnia at Child Pageant in Nowhere New York

This is from blog.penelopetrunk.com

I just spent about 2 hours reading Penelope Trunk‘s blog.  I woke up at 1:00 (really 2:00), and now it’s 3:30 (really 4:30), and thank god because after I get this burning need to tell all you good people about this amazing sleep interruption out of me, I will still be able to get some sleep before I have to get up to go watch the crowning at Angel Face Pageants in Owego, New York.  Penelope is my new girl crush.  I mean major.  I think I would probably have difficulty forming sentences if I met her.

Social Networking is hard but worth it.

Here’s the back story:  All 20 of you know that I am working my face off to rock this self-employment thing.  This blog represents me and my business (badly, I just learned, or at least not optimally), so in addition to pursuing clients & writing work, I have been following people on Twitter and tweeting and reading Copy Blogger, and The Wealthy Freelancer sends me its free webinars, and I’m doing all these “right” things.

So after my super lucky guest post on Jane Friedman’s Blog, this lovely woman, Jamie Chavez, linked me to a post about her son learning to really love reading after sixth grade.  And Jamie and I, kindred spirits I think, have been exchanging emails.  She pointed me to Penelope’s blog.

What I love about Penelope

1. Everything.  No, really.  She is brilliant and funny and thoughtful and deep and good at life and all the things I want to be publicly.  Now, only you 20 people know this about me, and mostly because you know me personally, not because you read my blog.
2. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin, which means that she probably stands on the same tile floor Lorrie Moore stands on to order coffee, at least sometimes.  Maybe they shop at the same Trader Joe’s.
3. She started out writing fiction with sex in it.  I did that, too.
4. She is a mom.
5. She makes a pile of money writing.
6. She has an MFA, but doesn’t talk about it.
7. She has this rare ability to make vulnerability and shitty life moments readable, engaging, without even a sliver of self-pity.
8. She is frank.
9. She lives on a farm.

What I hate about Penelope

• She told me I have to focus.

She’s right.  I know she is.  But here are the things I get excited about writing about:  writing, books, being a mom, movies, TV, child pageants (at least for a week), my life as a rock star, beer, vacations, cooking, eating, dreaming, fictions/stories.  Go.  Look at my archives.  They’re nuts.  I seem like an insane person.

Here are the things people read:  Anything with Dead Babies in the title, anything with the words penis, vagina, or sex in the body, my posts about writing, humorous anecdotes about me and/or my kid.

Diagnosis after Penelope Therapy

I need better titles.

I need to keep on keeping on.  Not that there was any doubt.

I need a clever euphemism for my domestic partner, like The Farmer, but different.  I learned that, too, recently from my domestic partner, he has difficulty with my writing openly on the internet about our life.  He is a private guy.  But Penelope tells me that if I’m funnier about it, it might work better for me.  I doubt that’s true in my case, but I’ll give it a whirl.

I need to be more artful about linking.