1. You really should check in on Facebook.
2. You really, really suck.
3. You need coffee first.
4. You can do it later.
5. Oh my god your ass is smaller! Peer at yourself in the pre-dawn window for a time. Honest to god, it’s smaller than it was yesterday.
6. It is a good day to put a big chunk of something in the crock pot, but first you’ll need a recipe.
7. You don’t have to write today. You wrote yesterday and the day before. It won’t kill you to miss one day. You deserve it.
8. That e-mail cannot wait, you must answer it.
9. Everyone hates you and you should probably just give up.
10. Writing is a waste of time. You should quit now while you’re still young enough to become an expert on something else.
11. Instagram needs an update. You haven’t photographed anything recently, now would be a good time.
12. Have I mentioned how awful you are?
13. The dishes need doing, now.
14. You can still do it later.
15. Writing is boring.
16. You are ugly, you should go contemplate that fact in front of a mirror.
17. You really need to take out the trash.
18. You need to pack Child’s lunch. This second. You will forget to do it later, and she won’t dream of reminding you.
19. You should take a quick second to check your blog stats.
20. You don’t tweet enough, all the best writey people tweet often. You need to go analyze their tweeting and promise yourself you’ll do better.
21. You need to have a sandwich this instant. If you don’t, you’ll get a cramp when you run later.