I love blogging.
Let me rephrase: I love the idea of blogging. The idea of blogging keeps me awake, thinking. I am always writing blogs in my head while I watch TV, observe Pearl playing, do my work, and print business card magnet promo materials for my First Friday workshop launch.
Trouble is, the best blogs I think up require some research and linking and time. And usually, when I have deemed the time to be appropriate for blogging, I’m bleary-eyed and out of time and just want to go dream up some more blogs while being inert.
I was thinking about birth order and sharing when I thought about my relationship and about the way Pearl plays with a little girl who’s the oldest in her family. How Brad’s stuff is sacred, but what’s mine is his. Not 100% true, but sort of. Anyhow. Google Scholar being like Jstor for those of us without university library hookups, I was gonna’ go refresh my memory on that birth order stuff and draw all these correlatives, and creepily compare my love relationship with my daughter’s play friend relationship.
Who has the time to do research? I will. But I don’t now.
The other blog I thought up is RIPTP for Rest in Peace Twin Peaks. The show jumped the shark in the most nameable moment since the term was coined in the last episode of the first season, and then it became comedy of the absurd. And I had this great idea for painting a picture about how they had this series of dice like you can buy in the sex toy store, where one side of one says lick, and one side of the other says pussy. Except they had a die for character names, and a die for settings, and a die for props and a die for verbs. Man, that would be a good blog.
But I won’t have time for thorough blogging until any of the following occur:
1 (most desirably): I complete a draft of a novel or a collection of essays and short stories that I sell for a scandalous sum to some publisher who’s figured out the magic formula for making money off eBooks to fund paper books, and printing fewer copies, and marketing books in some perfect and fresh way that guarantees authors the cash flow they deserve. It can be done. I just don’t know how. When this happens, I will be able to commit myself to writing more. And reading and doing research and being the word nut I want to commit my life to being.
2 (only slightly less desirably, but still would be tops): I garner a following of students who recommend my writing workshops all around town, then all around the state, then all around the region, then country, and you get it. My workshops are going to be awesome, but there are far more mitigating factors here than there are in the situation in which I write a book.
3 (significantly less desirably and monumentously less probably): Somebody decides to pay me for being awesome.
So fans and friends and internet strangers, writing what I want to write is kind of like buying the house I want to buy: I have to work with what I can afford, and what I can afford and what I want are almost never the same thing.