Something has happened to me. I don’t know what it is, but Craigslist is no longer my favorite thing in the world. Wow.
Perhaps I am suddenly eager to be upwardly mobile. In all areas of life, but especially financially. And perhaps this yearning for upward mobility has cast a shade of snobbery over the notion of Craigslist and its grassroots, nonprofit shtick. Or perhaps it is because I no longer have an urban Craigslist, there’s not a lot of super interesting stuff and pages, pages, pages of it. Harrisburg “gigs” are all links to those “work from home” ads, and the job postings are few! Instead of at least one page under each heading each day, there are 0-3. Maybe 4 or 5 on some select days.
I’ve sworn off internet dating. I have a profile over at OkCupid, but rarely check it (unless I get a message about having a message), and sometimes when it is late, I get a kick out of answering those personality questions, taking quizzes, seeing what OkCupid has to say about me, and skulking around the “Who’s viewed you” profiles, often being positively horrified by arrogance, ignorance, sub-literacy or blatant lies.
Anyway, I was just trolling the Craigslist Personals. I used to get a big kick out of them. But today, they were annoyingly transparent and pathetic. I was also surprised to find that an overwhelming majority of the ads were from very, very young men (under 21) looking for “the one,” men my age (25-35) hoping to start a family, and middle-aged to older men (42-59) looking for “NSA” encounters and/or discreet kittens on the side.
Perhaps the reason I found the personals so distressing today is because I have not been feeling so malcontent in my aloneness lately. I mean, who wouldn’t like to get laid?, but I guess I’ve just determined that a love relationship is probably not in the cards for me until Pearl’s older and all the men who are now married to the beautiful, vapid girls they dated in high school are divorced.
In fewer words, I didn’t feel like one of the posters today. I didn’t have an intense surge of empathy or of desire or of anything besides pity, really.
Additionally, I have been experiencing a great amount of feminist rage lately. I am very upset with men. All of them. They are whiny and obnoxious mostly. Except I really, really like them.
Anyway. What’s happening to me? I feel like it’s Puberty the Second. Everything’s changing, and it’s doing so without my permission.